Bullet lodged in the brain

Life knows two miseries,getting what you don't want and not getting what you want.Your whole life circles around it chasing its own tail.Sometimes you feel too close to the thing you have ever wanted but just can't reach it no matter however you spread your hands.Every time you get closer to the edge your fear of falling over pulls you back again.The ghost of your past haunts you to its best which forbids you to move on.Every time you try to convince yourself that this time you're gonna reach it a bomb goes off in your head and the bullet that your life has put in your brain moves a deadly,microscopic distance.And all your thoughts and hope goes blurry again.The colors that you could have had in your life start to run and get smudged and gray again.

When you see the chance to start your life all over again the past evils always come along for a ride.You will find yourself standing on the crossroads and there is no going back.And the odds are you will surely choose the path which drives you away from the wreckage where you've given in.But sadly,the past will always have a way of sneaking up.You'll hear its echo, like a bad replay.You'll misunderstand, get mad at every one who remind you of it,even if its all in your head.You start to get delusional that there is a blind spot in your head which has all the answers.

This is the moment when you get a binary choice.You can keep yourself burning in the fire of all the heartbreaks and scars of your past, with eyes shut, too scared too move, waiting for your present to bleed to death.Or..you can crawl out of it, help your loved ones, make sure the fire doesn't spread and try to fix it.And the only way to do this is to forgive yourself!! Its was not your fault that this happened.Let them think whatever they want to.Its your life and you've gotta live it the way you choose, with the people you choose.Stop looking for your shortcomings.You didn't have any.There is always someone out there who thinks you are perfect.Believe that.Dreams do come true.There are happy endings.You don't get to decide what you deserve.The people who love you will do that for you.Just speak, admit, confess, 'cause words always retain their power.Talking helps.It can set everything straight.By forgiveness you set free the only enslaved soul that you have...yours!! Believe in yourself, the choices that you make.Its time to let go of the bullet that has been lodged in your brain for so long.No amount of pain-killers are gonna alleviate the pain.All it needs is your free will.Choose your happiness.And complete exultation will require the cleansing fire of your confession and trust.Through this cleansing fire, we will spark a new spring of life!!

Lucky you!!

Well this time i am writing just for you.This concerns you and only you.I am gonna confess one thing for sure that i envy you.Yeah..'cause your the luckiest person on earth!! Well there is no need to look shocked 'cause i have a pretty factual explanation here.You maybe surprised to know some of these facts but if you really trust them, you will find that you are really the lucky one!

You must have already started babbling some not so good words for this post.Saying that its total crap, how can you be the luckiest person alive? What's so special in you? What extra gift have you got? You are just like any other person.Well then dear its your lucky day 'cause you are about to know the long forgotten secrets of your life.There are some gifts bestowed on you and you must at least remember them.There is someone who will love you every single moment of your life, there is someone who cares for you always, there is someone who wishes that you are alright, there is someone who prays daily for your success, there is someone who misses you like anything, there is someone who will make you feel special even though you're not 'cause you mean the world to him/her, there is someone who will be there for you at every step of your life and break your fall every time, there someone who can always fix your broken heart, there is someone who will laugh with you, cry with you, and will at least shed tears over your grave, there is someone who has dedicated everything for you, someone who can sacrifice for you, feel for you, understand you, believe in you, watch over you and even die for you.

Are these reasons not proof enough for your sheer luck? Well they are good enough for me.And honestly speaking, they should be more than enough for you to believe that you are the chosen one.I really don't see any scope for more expectations.And if you do then you are really out of mind and god help you! These are the things you could've ever asked for.And trust me they are not that easy to get but rather easy to loose.So don't waste time whining about your fate, just cherish each and every moment of these gifts you got from life.Don't take that someone you've got for granted 'cause if you loose that person it'll be like kicking your own luck.So just embrace your life, value your loved ones, believe in yourself, and you will remain lucky forever!

Walking the line

Its been a long way down the road.Hopping over various ditches, falling in some, tearing down various 'stop' signs, its never been that easy.So much for crying out loud, it was not that difficult either! When we walk the line we don't really care where will it end, whether we will fall over the edge or not, if there is a turn ahead or not, are we going the right way? Will we ever reach our destination?

Do you find it rhetorical? then cheer up..'cause the real core is that it does not matter that u do! Its just senseless to worry about your dreams, your goals.'Cause all that matters is the journey to your dream!Yes! its the line you walk that matters.The long lasting pursuit, the way you walked through it, the people who walked beside you, the hearts you won, the people you made cry, the people you made laugh, the people you loved and the people who loved you, the people you lived for and the people who dedicated their life for you ..they matter.Who cares how your goal is when you tend to love chasing it all your life.There will be allegations.. "all i want is to achieve my goal".Someone who says that must be really pitied 'cause all he wanted to say is that "all i want is someone to walk with me to my goal".Yeah, you will be happy at the end but where will you take all the happiness if you don't have anyone to share it with!! Sometimes we need someone to say "it'll be alright", to tell us "Don't worry, i am with you, i know we are gonna make it!!".Its always a nice feeling when you have someone to back you up.And if you are lucky enough that someone will last even when you have reached your destination.

Some are just too reluctant too move on.They get themselves buried in the questions . "It does not feel right",well then just do the wrong thing this time..simple!! "What will others say",I've got some news for you, these 'others' are not gonna stay with you forever!! these 'others' are not gonna follow you to heaven or hell !
"What happens if..", so just let it HAPPEN!! take risks!! make wrong choices! To hell with the consequences! its your life, live the way you want it..Just trust.Take a step forward, have a leap of faith, sometimes that's all it really takes..
You might not have been acquiring the center stage all the time.Your performance might have been underrated forever.You might have been toiling in the backstage for a long time.Working hard to succeed but never getting what you really wanted.You might not have got the part you deserved.But if you just work diligently and have a little faith in yourself, when you get the spotlight you'll find yourself in the role of a lifetime...

That old familiar feeling

Smothered, baffled, tossed in the tides of life, kicked even when you are down.Missed that old familiar feeling isn't it?..well so did half of the world!! Sailing in the waves of the displeased ocean waiting for the mere glimpse of the shore.But they fail and get messed up in the foggy and confounded journey.'Until when',they ask..and the only answer they get is,'not yet'!!

It never hurts to be a little optimistic though.'Cause there is something that will be alongside you in best and worst of times.Something that cannot be bound by chains, burnt, vanished, killed or relinquished by any means.People call it 'Hope'..When every thing fails we hope.That's always been one's first stand and the last resort.You can always hope that everything's gonna be fine.You can hope that this time your world will change for good.You can hope that you will find a reason to believe even when you have lost all your reasons to live.Its man's greatest strength and the worst weakness.

But i guess everybody knows that already.But the real question is how far will you go to get what you always hoped for? What is the limit of your trust? Should there be any? Well there can be different perspectives on that.One can stand besides the grave of his loved one, flooding with tears, should he hope that he will see her again? Or someone staring at the barrel of the gun which is in the hand of his love, can he hope that the bullet will not make a hole in his head? A person who has never been a praying kind gets down upon his knees looking for a miracle.

However devastating the storm may be,there is always hope that the sun will shine again.While you are alive you can just not stop to hope.It is in you.You can't go any other way.Well you'll wish you never do.When we are young every little loss seems to be the end of the world to us.But what we fail to see is that it always marks the beginning of a new world.And 'hopefully' a better one.There is always hope that you feel closer to the edge of your dreams.You will get that old familiar feeling that you have unknowingly missed for so long.You will get the directions which will eventually get you ashore.You will get that love that you always hoped to see.You will get that warmth that you always hoped to feel,the touch you needed, the moment you waited for all your life, the elation that you have chased for so long, the place where you will finally like to stay forever, the life you never thought of!!!    .. Just hope.Let nobody else tell you any different.Maybe someday you will get that inch of life in which you just close your eyes, take a deep breath, feel the presence of your loved ones, and you hearts whispers 'I'm finally home'!!!

The uncommon sense

Genius of life lies in living.Quite simple, isnt it.That's quite the common sense.Go with the flow.That's damn easy..
But then again everything being real easy would be a real pain in the ass for the world, so they complicate..there is never a need for that but they do..they just cant keep there hands off the cookie jar!!
'Why me',they say,'What if'..that's the rhetorical questions we get through a lot.Well it can be answered simply by another set that 'Why not you'..are you some kind of special person that god has chosen only to enjoy and never suffer?..Its harsh?..understandable.So the real and the uncommon answer to these question is the set of choices you made.If you had chosen differently you would be staring at a different past asking a different set of questions.It doesn't make a lot of difference,does it? Its the things we choose that makes us who we are..well are they?Is there always a choice or just an illusion of it?Can one really decide what he or she really need?

Que sera sera-It is what it is.Maybe you were scared.Maybe you felt lonely.Maybe something was missing.Maybe you felt like all the walls were closing in on you..But its alright now.Thats all that matters.Maybe you did not have the best of luck with you, but that is just not a good enough reason to whine about..!!


There are five stages of grief according to Kubler-Ross.It would be real shame being stuck in the denial phase.Saying everything that happens make things worse would be lie.Sometimes we get lucky.Sometimes we get that push that hops us directly into the acceptance phase.A hand that gives us a reason to go on.A hug that teaches us to wish again, to dream again.A kiss that gives us the leap of faith that we have longed for all this time.We suddenly learn to let go.And for once in a lifetime we don't wish for a license to kill and unlimited ammo.We are suddenly ready to risk it all just to get that feeling once again.We suddenly break the farthest bounds of insanity to live it once more.Was it all lies? well who cares.'Cause as far back we will push our memories we'll come to know that those were the only time we ever lived!!

The return

There can only be 2 reasons a person can return to blogging after a bunch of years. Either he is emotional again(thats for kind of apathetic personnel like myself!!) or he has found a new means of life n how to live it..
Well luckily,I got both of them..!!
Its a funny feeling when sumtyms u luk down ur memory lane, n u find dat dese r not ur memories dat u r staring upon..maybe u dint hav to be dat bad..maybe u got it all wrong, maybe there was a choice..but who the hell cares!!
They wer memories..your memories ..maybe not good enough to share with everyone but who needs everyone when you have dat someone!!..The past can hurt, make you cry, or make you laugh, change you, you die and get reborn..it can set you free..
John Lennon said 'Life's happening when you are busy making plans about it'..thats it,isnt it..you don't choose the way things that gets in your way..they just happen!! you can choose to be the best or the worst of it..I hope you make the best of it..'cause thats the one choice no one can ever take away from you, you can always choose to do what is right, you can forgive when all you can think of is breaking someone's head, you can love when you are supposed to hate,you can talk when you find yourself buried in grievances,you can just stay or walk away..there are no rules to this thing..
Its a strange feeling making a return on your emotions...they look the same, they feel the same..you realize that the only thing changed is you.Suddenly you see that you need to change the way the things are.Suddenly you find a reason to take the high road on life.Suddenly you see that you could do a hell lot better.Its like waking up from a dream and walking into another.A whole new world order.There is no guarantee that this change will be a better one.But there is one thing for sure, that this has to happen, 'cause you have chosen it to happen.People will talk.Well, they always talk so just screw them!!Your time is now.Choice is simple.Stairway to heaven or Highway to hell.Just choose..and i'll follow!!