Up close and personal

Have you ever come through a feeling when you could feel the elation in the world around you, you can smell the fragrance of the wind blowing your way..have you ever felt it..the so called inner peace! Well thats a big no for me.Why cant everything just fall into its place for just this once.Why when everything 's going alright, all i could think is to crash and burn.
Sometimes i get the feeling maybe it is because of some guilt ,some unfinished business.But i still cant think of what it is n where it is.This feeling of insecurity for no reason is a killer.The feeling when somebody just looks at you with an awkward looking face, you wish you could put a bullet hole in his head.Or else you could bludgeon  him to death.And while everyone will stand there n watch,scared.You will laugh with scorn.No feeling of remorse..or any other humanly feeling..Anger ,pain, betrayal, hatred..these are the only real emotions to be felt.
How i have come to this..what have i become..why cant i return to be the carefree guy i once used to be.Where is that damned inner peace.Why do i feel just lyk killing half the world.Some say 'violence is never the answer'..then what is it..I have tried love..and i don't believe it worked.I ceased to believe in it.I don't remember when i last came across a feeling that din't involve hurting others.I have become selfish.I really don't care for anyone.
I feel like i have lost my integrity..the very last inch of it.I just need to feel something..anything..that is real enough to pull me through all this.I don't have the slightest idea what it is but i believe i really need it.I don't see this happening anytime soon.But i just can't give up hope of it..'cause hope is all i really have now..It was always all i really had..

Invisible truth

If someone asks us to define 'darkness'. .we sure have heard of it.Most of us will simply say darkness is the 'absence of light'.We can't measure it or define it independently but we all know it exists.Same goes for 'cold' that is absence of heat.The point is that there are many things in life that exist because we believe they exist.It can be said that a person who is delusional enough to live in his own world of dreams and believes it to be true is as sane as any other practical person in this world.

There are many allegations in our lives,the invisible truths, that exist 'cause we believe in them.Truth that can't be explained.Why we are refreshed by the fragrance of a flower.Why do we love to live in beautiful colors.Why a laughing baby puts a smile on our face too.Why sometimes some other persons's happiness gives us the tears of joy.Why the rain sometimes urges us to dance and sometimes the same rains makes us sad.Why the rage running all over our body is calmed down by the mere glimpse of gentle eyes.Why we get a strange feeling when we are with someone and the feeling fades when that someone is gone.Why we believe in god and his plans for us.Why we hope for a miracle even when all odds are against it.These beautiful truths have been and always will be a part of our lives.Well actually these truths are the times we really lived!

Some times these truths fade.We become,what we call, more mechanical.Anything may cause that..loss,betrayal,loneliness,heartbreak..these emotions are large enough to force a person to stop believing and step into the dark.But as we know the darkness doesn't exist! We heard a lot that time can heal all wounds.Maybe it does.But it doesn't wash away the scars.Sometimes we need more than just the truth.Sometimes all it takes is a leap of faith.And the funny thing about faith is that you cannot explain it.You just have it! So throw the odds out the window..What you believe is true!!

Last regrets

Imagine sitting under a tree, surrounded by endless grasslands.You would stare at nothingness for hours.'cause nobody is there with you.You will be waiting for someone to appear..anyone..But you will give up the wait at some point of time.And there will always remain a regret, maybe you needed to wait for some more time..maybe you would have seen someone appearing at the horizon..a familiar face..a face you were longing for.That someone may wave at you..or maybe call your name..or run towards you...or that someone may just vanish in the winds.

Maybe you didn't get enough time.The time you deserved.To be with someone, to feel alive, to take chances, to make mistakes.You can regret forever for that or you can choose to be thankful for whatever time you got.Maybe you didn't get what you hoped for and you start to live your life in denial.You get hypochondriac..darkness-loving..creepy kind of person.You start spending most of your time in introspection and become a people-hater.

You gotta keep walking though..'cause you belong to the human "race" and you really can't afford losing it.All the time we keep longing for a connection..a moment when time slows down a bit and you begin to feel alive again.You wait for a person who tends to understand you more than you do yourself.You wait for being connected.

There might be a lot of things you wish you never did.Its ok.Its perfectly normal to make mistakes.But you need to understand that you and only you make it all right before its too late.You can change things.Make different choices..redeem yourself.'cause if its too late then you wont be able to let go of this regret all your life.Who knows maybe today is the last day ( I sure hope its not) to say "I am sorry" to someone..the last day to say "i forgive you"..the last day to say "I miss you"..the last day to say "I love you"...maybe after today one of you or the connection between you may cease to exist..and you may forever be left with the last regrets and late goodbyes...

Life and the death of memories..

There is a time in life when we wish to become a distant star in the sky that can just watch people laugh, have fun,live their life...and we could just find the divine content in their happiness.Without even letting our existence known to them.Today i understand how it is the worst experience one can ever imagine.People close to me say it was none of my mistake.Even i try to convince myself it wasn't.That means i am supposed to be angry, or rather furious to those who made my life hell.But i want to confess something.Yes, i was mad like a mad dog at the way things went.I cursed the fate.And the people reminding me about it.But in the end, all i am is upset.Because in all this i lost something.My memories.And that is the most precious belonging of human being.I am watching my memories burn in to hell fire.And i am standing so close to the fire that it hurts me strikingly.

The saddest truth of life is that we get to decide what memories to build upon, but we don't have a say in which of them will stay clean and worth remembering.I know i don't have a clean slate.Confession doesn't wash away the guilt, not of that i ruined lives but that i wasn't strong enough to protect the memories that i never wanted to fade.I know i will move on.I always do.But sadly i will never be able to besmear this blind spot in my brain..
And the worst part is i don't want the things to go back to normal.I m not going to commit the same mistake again.'cause mistake aren't committed twice.The second time its a choice.I want to crash and burn.I want to let go.I want to be out of this world where truth and trust are mere words.Where people forget every good memories they share on the introduction of one bitter one.Where the trust falls in a single blow and all good things you did become your so called master plan to ruin others life.I am not innocent.But there is nothing in this world that i hate more than wrong accusation.It kills you.I wanna die and get reborn again.I wanna be free.I want to sleep and forget.I want to dream again.I know my whining will not get me any where but i wanna break down these wall closing in on me.

I do believe that everything happens for the best.i just wish i could see the best in this.A day from now i will be 21.Its really been so long.I saw love, pain, passion, trust, betrayal, adventure, life, death and much more.God knows what else the future has in store for me.Just returned to where i began."What goes round comes around".."The circle of life"..the epic ironies.I may have laughed at them, if i remembered how..

Back to you

When entertainment turns into a surreal reflection of your life,you would be a lucky man to laugh at it..
The things which were once fit for our laughter, become the ironical part of our life.You can't runaway from it..'cause you are the one who dug up this pit to eventually fall into it.There are somethings in this world that we cannot understand.Things we never wanted to choose..how we feel.But it was never for us to decide.
Sometimes, the world becomes too small for comfort.The wait for a 'happy ending' lingers all the way.It feels like there are no choices in this world.Nothing but a straight line.Illusion comes afterwards when we look back upon ourselves, and ask 'why me' or 'what if'..Its like looking back on a forked lightening tracing back our own steps to nothingness.Different choices would not have made much of a difference.We would standing at the same place, just asking a different set of questions..
I read somewhere, that if you wanna serve in heaven, then just do good to its very extreme..and if you wanna reign in hell then just fall to the deepest and the darkest pits of sin.The two doors are less than a hand's reach to man for all there life.But still we spend most of our life standing at the crossroads of stairway to heaven and highway to hell immersed in the hangover of our own feelings.
People say 'love and be loved'..is that it? the truth..Live for it, kill for it, even die for it..Is this our salvation?
And what if its just a dream from which you will wake up someday and you will find no rescue waiting for you.What if you come back to reality and don't find your love there.What if your loneliness suddenly turns into a nothingness.And you keep on wondering what  the hell did just happen?
They'll say that life has its complications.Its never easy.But are we really ready and willing to take that risk?Yes...we always are.There something in this that makes us stay.Some memories.Not necessarily all good.But all worth having.We willingly step into it but then it becomes out of the power of our free will.Its always a dilemma when being in it.Will I able to trace my steps back to you? Has it strength enough to guide me back home?..Logically everything should fall into its place if we give it sometime..Logic is such a liar..But the hope to our happiness will keep us going on...and you will make me stay!!

All good things

"What truly is logic? Who decides reason? My quest has taken me to the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional, and back. I've made the most important discovery of my life. It's only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found."-The beautiful mind


I remember watching this movie in 2001 or maybe 02.Its funny that years have passed, and suddenly now i get to understand this quote by John Nash.Its not that i lacked the brains then but they say that we can believe in something only when we experience it.The hardest patch of time in one's life is when he fails to understand the difference between reality and imagination.Whenever he starts to believe in one thing the world always takes a turn for surreal.Smothered by the circumstances he starts to doubt the very existence of the most powerful emotion in this world : Love.


Am i not supposed to fall in love? Am i someone who can't know how it feels? Am i someone who can't be trusted with love? Am i not supposed to laugh or cry for the one i love? Suddenly all these questions become mere empty words! Just a mist of my imagination.Do you wanna know whats real?...The way i feel when i hold your hand, thats real, the way i feel when i see the smile on your face, thats real, the way i feel when i hear the sound of your laughter, thats real, the way i feel when i hear you saying 'i love u', thats real.Its real for me..'cause i believe in it.You give me hope.You make me realize that i was just being stupid when i was thinking of those questions.Your touch pushes me to the farthest heights of happiness.You make me experience the immense power of love which makes us the rulers of this world.You make me believe that we are the only ones who have and who could have ever experienced a feeling like this.You make me realize that good things can happen to me too.And you are the reasons for all good things.Your smile is the reason for my happiness.You touch is the reason for my faith.The moments i spend with you are the reason for me to believe that i am the happiest and the luckiest person on the planet.I just want you to understand that you are the reason i am...you are all my reasons!!!!!!

Perfect memory

I was in school.It was 8th of may.We had a celebration of mother's day in our school.I insisted my mom not to come saying that no one really bothers to come.Actually the real reason behind it was that i got scared that my mom would hear about my not-so-famous tales in the school by my teachers.I attended the celebration.It was surprisingly awesome.I wished my mom could see it.I felt real guilt about not inviting her due to my stupid fear.I went home.Hours passed but i just could not get over that guilt.Finally, when i couldn't take it any more ,i stepped out of home and went to buy something for my mom.I bought her a gift.And when i got back home, and saw that she was alone in her room, i mustered the courage to go to her and give her that gift.I was not that smart to choose an appropriate gift for her, well i was not that financially strong either.Come on..i was in school, you can't expect me to buy a gold necklace or platinum ring!Whatever,she just unwrapped the gift.It was a doll.How much more stupid a gift can there be! But to my utter amazement she loved it! i am not saying it because she told me so, but i m sure of it 'cause i could see it in her eyes.Obviously, she didn't expect anything like that from me.She was delighted.She showed it to everyone else around.Came back and hugged me.Years have passed.Memories have burred.But i just can't forget that day, that glow on her face, that delight, that moment worth lasting.

We are very lucky to be born in this world where we can make perfect memories like these without any limit.It is said that the most memorable moments in our life are when we feel some thing we never felt before.We do things we never did before.We meet people with a different point of view..people who change your perspective of things, who drive you out of the wreckage where you have given in, who show you that whatever battles are raging inside us there is always a choice, who show you that there is hope.You asked me what you do to me?..You give me memories.These moment where you wish that time could just freeze.Memories made up of your smile, your happiness.I wish you could just understand the feelings of the bumps in my heart when i listen to the sound of your laughter.I wish you could feel the gravity of every moment that i spend with you.I wish you could see the most beautiful face on earth when accompanied with a smile like i do.I wish you could just trade places with me and experience that heavenly feeling being with someone like you..What you do to me? You give me the assurance that even though if the world slips through my fingers, even if the sun seems tired, even if i have a big fall and the earth doesn't make a sound..you will be there.That is the best thing you could have ever given to me.I will be ever grateful for these treasured memories.Thank you for making my world better than its ever been.Somethings never change.I am so glad they don't.That is why its very important that you understand that i will be there tomorrow,the next day and the day after, you just have to say 'stay'...

The tumultous solitude

Life is good.Its ecstatic to have everyone around.Cheers and content exults you all the time.Its like a dream come true.Or it can be said 'the' dream coming true.But dreams have a nasty habit of going bad when you are not looking.You get that old familiar feeling yet again.You make the wrong moves, let the evil overpower.Its like trying to piece together a broken mirror to have a look at yourself.Your image shifts with it, and you may cut yourself in the act of finding yourself.And the weird thing is its nobody's fault.If you wanna have a look at the guilty, you just need to look in the mirror.The smart thing to do is ignore it, just walk away.But you are not that smart always.

You may have your buddies nosing around graciously all the time.You may have your parents with their never ending inquisition.You may have your love worrying about you all the time.You may have the world running along with you always.But they can't always be there.You can never run from the feeling.If it has been a greater part of your life then it wont just wear off by itself.It may seem like a stretch but thoughts like this always cross the mind when you are away.The sad thing is sometimes you are so far past the point-of-no-return that you couldn't remember what it looked like when you passed it.You don't wanna go back.But the tragic thing is its not always about what you want, but what you need.You will get a tsunami of these confounding thoughts that you have tried to put in the box for a long time.You are pushed back to get raveled inside your own mind.This may seem like nightmare sneaking back on you.In a night mare every choice you make is the wrong one.You feel like yourself back in the gaping hole of your past.You would think that you are damned.

On the contrary, Its not the case anymore.Sometimes we get lucky and things change.This time your solitude will not pose threat to your present joy but will make you realize the importance of it.There is a small voice in your head which says you should be glad.Some say you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye.Well, its your solitude that made this revelation before its time.At least you've something to be grateful for.You will get a strong desire to hold your love tightly in your arms and let everything go.You wont care about any grudges or past battles, you will just run into her arms to feel alive again.There lies the difference.Its not like that you haven't been in the dark before.But this time you have all the strength in the world to hope for the light.

Cold laws of cause and effect

Here is a short story i heard from someone a long time ago.I can't remember his name though.Its funny how sometimes people who make the deepest impression on you are hardest to remember.Its was a story about a girl.She was beautiful.But sadly her beauty was stained by grief and ills of her life.Her parents abandoned her when she was 18.An age to live the life was replaced by cold days in hell for her.She met betrayal, hate, agony, failure at every step she took.And the worst part is she could not even understand where did she go wrong? She felt lonely like hell, full of despair, lost all the reasons to live.

Well, though her life was full of dark times, there was a silver lining too.He had someone who was quite close to her, who could relieve some of her pain.A boy, who loved her.At least he thought he did.And she also loved him back.He wanted to be with her, to have a normal life with her but sadly her past always kept sneaking up to her.She could just not let go of the pain of the people who left her, all alone.The boy didn't want to give up on her.To make her life better, became his only reason to live for.He tried his best to relieve her from everything.He tried to make things normal so that he could have her forever.But still he just could not see the untainted smile on her face, the ultimate exultation.

One day, frustrated, he went for a walk to the church.He knelt down upon his knees before God and screamed "Why can't i get what i deserve?".While he was kneeling on the floor out of no where a priest appeared with bedazzling robes and possessing a divine aura.He spoke in a deep voice to the boy,"Tell me son, what do you want?".Guessing by his appearance, the boy took him as some type of divine incarnation.He instantly begged to him to just make the girl he loved happy.The priest replied that he could do that but also warned him about the laws of cause and effect.If he happen to cause his wish upon the girl there will be some effect on his life too.He thought that this was all he ever wanted so he was ready to put every thing at stake.Seeing the boy's determination the priest replied,"So be it".He, then invited the boy to look into her new life.Amazed and bewildered, he obeyed.But when he saw it he was totally taken aback.She was in the arms of a guy.He couldn't recognize him but he could surely see true love for him in the girl's eyes.He was dumbfounded.Now he understood the cold laws of cause of effect.She was happy but he couldn't be with her anymore.She wouldn't even recognize him anymore.With tears in his eyes he ran for her house to get his love back.

When he reached her house he found the door locked.He went round the back of the house to get in through the window.Suddenly he found himself standing in front of the window of her room.He saw her.She was beautiful.But there was something else.Her beauty was glowed by a smile on her face.He could sense the joy in her eyes.She closed her eyes ,said grace,"Oh lord, i thank you for the life you've given me,the happiness, the love, and i really wish that it stays like this forever"..There.He finally found it.The ultimate exultation on her face.Seeing her, he thought of cold laws of cause and effect.No matter how it came, he finally succeeded in his pursuit.He finally understood this was all he wanted.Staying with her was just not it, loving her was.He just wanted to see her happy and he did it.He couldn't be with her but it was alright.

Whatever you cause, there will be some effect.You just need to see it.You are always the master of your free will.You can just wander around running after whom you love, trying to be with them, having expectations from them.Or you can love someone all your life even if you get nothing in return.You can just hold her always or you can live your life in her one smile.It'll always  be your choice.Love is not just a feeling, its all about what you do.That is why it is called as 'Making love'..

Such great heights

Its may feel like a long weary journey since you were born.Been through so much.Learned many things, met different people, went places, sometimes you may have loved your life, sometimes you may have hated it like hell, ran through a purple patch, saw some dark times, achievements, joy, love, betrayal, heartbreaks, scars, and so on.That sums up almost all your life.Except the fact that this circle of life is still going on.It may sound quite boring to many, asking the same old questions,'Why should we be running in circles forever?'

Simply, 'cause your are destined to do so.You have to stand up every time you fall.You have to go on someway or the other.The gift of life is bestowed upon you and you are supposed to live it to fullest.If you see it the other way around life does give you second chances.You are privileged to be who you are.You may have lived some cold days in hell but you gotta wait for the bright sun of heaven.The grass is not greener on the other side.However far down the wrong road you may have walked you can always turn back and trace back your steps to a better way.You will always retain the power to change your world even if you need to destroy the former and a build a brand new.You can always start from the beginning.And do you know the best part in all this?..You don't have to be on your own!!

You may feel like you don't need anyone.You'll be fine on your own.But the truth is, that's not how we were made! We will always need someone to be with.Someone with whom we can build our memories with.Someone to love, someone to hate, someone to shout at, someone to apologize, someone to laugh at, someone to cry with, someone to miss, someone to share our secrets and regrets, someone to advise us, someone to drive us out of the wreckage where we have given in.You will surely have your ups and downs even when you are with him but whats more important is, you'll not be alone.You will find someone who holds the key to your unhappiness, who knows exactly how to make your world a better place and is completely willing to do so.You will be like puzzle pieces which are perfectly aligned.You will share moments with that person which will last till the end.And if you are willing enough to be there for a while, someday, together, you will break the boring circle of life and you'll find yourself soaring so high above, to a place worth living forever, making memories worth lasting.At such great heights every thing will be so perfect.No one to tell you where to go or where to stay.You'll have unbelievable sights, indescribable feelings like a magic carpet ride.You'll wave down at the world far below.People may scream,"Don't be insane","Its enough,Come down now"! But you know what....we'll stay!!

I think god can explain

"Why did this happen to me? Where did i go wrong? What i've done? What should i do to make it all right? How can i get out of it?" People spend a life time searching the answers for these questions.Well, today is gonna be your lucky day 'cause i m gonna give you a simple solution for all these questions that keep haunting you all the time.Just forget the damn questions!! Yeah!! its simple isn't it? Sometimes ignorance is a real bliss.Just quit whining and enjoy!!

There are many things in this world that we don't understand and some we never wanna know.I cannot see a single feasible reason for anyone to still nose around for some baseless answers.You may keep on asking again and again "When the hell is every thing's gonna be alright?".Well i got news for you, Nothing is wrong to be made right!!Its all in your head.You can be mad like a mad dog at the way things went.You could swear, curse the fates.But when it comes to the end, you have to let go.

Sometimes its meaningless to demand answers.Sometimes its best to go with the flow.Sometimes its best to let god handle it.You may doubt your faith at times when you see some minor glitches in your life.Its because you are unable to see the big picture here.You are unaware of the grand plan which is supposed to happen.You just have to believe that something good will come out of it.Something that you thought you wouldn't have deserved in a million years.Everything happens for a reason.And you would be quite unlucky if you keep on searching for the reason and miss the real effect.God has plans for all of us and we are not 'divine' enough to question his mysterious ways.Some may like it, some may not.

I know life can be damn harsh sometimes.But you will surely experience its flying colors too.I know its not fair enough some times.But then again, it never is.There is always a light at the end of the tunnel.No one can guess how long the darkness will last but if you keep walking, you will surely get to a better place.You will get to the moment of clarity, where you get reborn again.You will experience an inch of life where you will not be answerable to anybody, nobody to tell you that you were wrong, nobody to tell you that it could've been
better, nobody to let you down, you'll have no one to prove, you'll experience the things that are real, you'll have someone who really do care, you'll feel like you've never felt before, you'll be totally through your nightmares into your new dreams.You'll find yourself in a place where you could finally let your heart decide.In that small inch, you will be free.No matter what happens, nobody can ever take that inch away from you.You will get that split second when time slows down,  just stay with it and you can live a life time.

Bullet lodged in the brain

Life knows two miseries,getting what you don't want and not getting what you want.Your whole life circles around it chasing its own tail.Sometimes you feel too close to the thing you have ever wanted but just can't reach it no matter however you spread your hands.Every time you get closer to the edge your fear of falling over pulls you back again.The ghost of your past haunts you to its best which forbids you to move on.Every time you try to convince yourself that this time you're gonna reach it a bomb goes off in your head and the bullet that your life has put in your brain moves a deadly,microscopic distance.And all your thoughts and hope goes blurry again.The colors that you could have had in your life start to run and get smudged and gray again.

When you see the chance to start your life all over again the past evils always come along for a ride.You will find yourself standing on the crossroads and there is no going back.And the odds are you will surely choose the path which drives you away from the wreckage where you've given in.But sadly,the past will always have a way of sneaking up.You'll hear its echo, like a bad replay.You'll misunderstand, get mad at every one who remind you of it,even if its all in your head.You start to get delusional that there is a blind spot in your head which has all the answers.

This is the moment when you get a binary choice.You can keep yourself burning in the fire of all the heartbreaks and scars of your past, with eyes shut, too scared too move, waiting for your present to bleed to death.Or..you can crawl out of it, help your loved ones, make sure the fire doesn't spread and try to fix it.And the only way to do this is to forgive yourself!! Its was not your fault that this happened.Let them think whatever they want to.Its your life and you've gotta live it the way you choose, with the people you choose.Stop looking for your shortcomings.You didn't have any.There is always someone out there who thinks you are perfect.Believe that.Dreams do come true.There are happy endings.You don't get to decide what you deserve.The people who love you will do that for you.Just speak, admit, confess, 'cause words always retain their power.Talking helps.It can set everything straight.By forgiveness you set free the only enslaved soul that you have...yours!! Believe in yourself, the choices that you make.Its time to let go of the bullet that has been lodged in your brain for so long.No amount of pain-killers are gonna alleviate the pain.All it needs is your free will.Choose your happiness.And complete exultation will require the cleansing fire of your confession and trust.Through this cleansing fire, we will spark a new spring of life!!

Lucky you!!

Well this time i am writing just for you.This concerns you and only you.I am gonna confess one thing for sure that i envy you.Yeah..'cause your the luckiest person on earth!! Well there is no need to look shocked 'cause i have a pretty factual explanation here.You maybe surprised to know some of these facts but if you really trust them, you will find that you are really the lucky one!

You must have already started babbling some not so good words for this post.Saying that its total crap, how can you be the luckiest person alive? What's so special in you? What extra gift have you got? You are just like any other person.Well then dear its your lucky day 'cause you are about to know the long forgotten secrets of your life.There are some gifts bestowed on you and you must at least remember them.There is someone who will love you every single moment of your life, there is someone who cares for you always, there is someone who wishes that you are alright, there is someone who prays daily for your success, there is someone who misses you like anything, there is someone who will make you feel special even though you're not 'cause you mean the world to him/her, there is someone who will be there for you at every step of your life and break your fall every time, there someone who can always fix your broken heart, there is someone who will laugh with you, cry with you, and will at least shed tears over your grave, there is someone who has dedicated everything for you, someone who can sacrifice for you, feel for you, understand you, believe in you, watch over you and even die for you.

Are these reasons not proof enough for your sheer luck? Well they are good enough for me.And honestly speaking, they should be more than enough for you to believe that you are the chosen one.I really don't see any scope for more expectations.And if you do then you are really out of mind and god help you! These are the things you could've ever asked for.And trust me they are not that easy to get but rather easy to loose.So don't waste time whining about your fate, just cherish each and every moment of these gifts you got from life.Don't take that someone you've got for granted 'cause if you loose that person it'll be like kicking your own luck.So just embrace your life, value your loved ones, believe in yourself, and you will remain lucky forever!

Walking the line

Its been a long way down the road.Hopping over various ditches, falling in some, tearing down various 'stop' signs, its never been that easy.So much for crying out loud, it was not that difficult either! When we walk the line we don't really care where will it end, whether we will fall over the edge or not, if there is a turn ahead or not, are we going the right way? Will we ever reach our destination?

Do you find it rhetorical? then cheer up..'cause the real core is that it does not matter that u do! Its just senseless to worry about your dreams, your goals.'Cause all that matters is the journey to your dream!Yes! its the line you walk that matters.The long lasting pursuit, the way you walked through it, the people who walked beside you, the hearts you won, the people you made cry, the people you made laugh, the people you loved and the people who loved you, the people you lived for and the people who dedicated their life for you ..they matter.Who cares how your goal is when you tend to love chasing it all your life.There will be allegations.. "all i want is to achieve my goal".Someone who says that must be really pitied 'cause all he wanted to say is that "all i want is someone to walk with me to my goal".Yeah, you will be happy at the end but where will you take all the happiness if you don't have anyone to share it with!! Sometimes we need someone to say "it'll be alright", to tell us "Don't worry, i am with you, i know we are gonna make it!!".Its always a nice feeling when you have someone to back you up.And if you are lucky enough that someone will last even when you have reached your destination.

Some are just too reluctant too move on.They get themselves buried in the questions . "It does not feel right",well then just do the wrong thing this time..simple!! "What will others say",I've got some news for you, these 'others' are not gonna stay with you forever!! these 'others' are not gonna follow you to heaven or hell !
"What happens if..", so just let it HAPPEN!! take risks!! make wrong choices! To hell with the consequences! its your life, live the way you want it..Just trust.Take a step forward, have a leap of faith, sometimes that's all it really takes..
You might not have been acquiring the center stage all the time.Your performance might have been underrated forever.You might have been toiling in the backstage for a long time.Working hard to succeed but never getting what you really wanted.You might not have got the part you deserved.But if you just work diligently and have a little faith in yourself, when you get the spotlight you'll find yourself in the role of a lifetime...

That old familiar feeling

Smothered, baffled, tossed in the tides of life, kicked even when you are down.Missed that old familiar feeling isn't it?..well so did half of the world!! Sailing in the waves of the displeased ocean waiting for the mere glimpse of the shore.But they fail and get messed up in the foggy and confounded journey.'Until when',they ask..and the only answer they get is,'not yet'!!

It never hurts to be a little optimistic though.'Cause there is something that will be alongside you in best and worst of times.Something that cannot be bound by chains, burnt, vanished, killed or relinquished by any means.People call it 'Hope'..When every thing fails we hope.That's always been one's first stand and the last resort.You can always hope that everything's gonna be fine.You can hope that this time your world will change for good.You can hope that you will find a reason to believe even when you have lost all your reasons to live.Its man's greatest strength and the worst weakness.

But i guess everybody knows that already.But the real question is how far will you go to get what you always hoped for? What is the limit of your trust? Should there be any? Well there can be different perspectives on that.One can stand besides the grave of his loved one, flooding with tears, should he hope that he will see her again? Or someone staring at the barrel of the gun which is in the hand of his love, can he hope that the bullet will not make a hole in his head? A person who has never been a praying kind gets down upon his knees looking for a miracle.

However devastating the storm may be,there is always hope that the sun will shine again.While you are alive you can just not stop to hope.It is in you.You can't go any other way.Well you'll wish you never do.When we are young every little loss seems to be the end of the world to us.But what we fail to see is that it always marks the beginning of a new world.And 'hopefully' a better one.There is always hope that you feel closer to the edge of your dreams.You will get that old familiar feeling that you have unknowingly missed for so long.You will get the directions which will eventually get you ashore.You will get that love that you always hoped to see.You will get that warmth that you always hoped to feel,the touch you needed, the moment you waited for all your life, the elation that you have chased for so long, the place where you will finally like to stay forever, the life you never thought of!!!    .. Just hope.Let nobody else tell you any different.Maybe someday you will get that inch of life in which you just close your eyes, take a deep breath, feel the presence of your loved ones, and you hearts whispers 'I'm finally home'!!!

The uncommon sense

Genius of life lies in living.Quite simple, isnt it.That's quite the common sense.Go with the flow.That's damn easy..
But then again everything being real easy would be a real pain in the ass for the world, so they complicate..there is never a need for that but they do..they just cant keep there hands off the cookie jar!!
'Why me',they say,'What if'..that's the rhetorical questions we get through a lot.Well it can be answered simply by another set that 'Why not you'..are you some kind of special person that god has chosen only to enjoy and never suffer?..Its harsh?..understandable.So the real and the uncommon answer to these question is the set of choices you made.If you had chosen differently you would be staring at a different past asking a different set of questions.It doesn't make a lot of difference,does it? Its the things we choose that makes us who we are..well are they?Is there always a choice or just an illusion of it?Can one really decide what he or she really need?

Que sera sera-It is what it is.Maybe you were scared.Maybe you felt lonely.Maybe something was missing.Maybe you felt like all the walls were closing in on you..But its alright now.Thats all that matters.Maybe you did not have the best of luck with you, but that is just not a good enough reason to whine about..!!


There are five stages of grief according to Kubler-Ross.It would be real shame being stuck in the denial phase.Saying everything that happens make things worse would be lie.Sometimes we get lucky.Sometimes we get that push that hops us directly into the acceptance phase.A hand that gives us a reason to go on.A hug that teaches us to wish again, to dream again.A kiss that gives us the leap of faith that we have longed for all this time.We suddenly learn to let go.And for once in a lifetime we don't wish for a license to kill and unlimited ammo.We are suddenly ready to risk it all just to get that feeling once again.We suddenly break the farthest bounds of insanity to live it once more.Was it all lies? well who cares.'Cause as far back we will push our memories we'll come to know that those were the only time we ever lived!!

The return

There can only be 2 reasons a person can return to blogging after a bunch of years. Either he is emotional again(thats for kind of apathetic personnel like myself!!) or he has found a new means of life n how to live it..
Well luckily,I got both of them..!!
Its a funny feeling when sumtyms u luk down ur memory lane, n u find dat dese r not ur memories dat u r staring upon..maybe u dint hav to be dat bad..maybe u got it all wrong, maybe there was a choice..but who the hell cares!!
They wer memories..your memories ..maybe not good enough to share with everyone but who needs everyone when you have dat someone!!..The past can hurt, make you cry, or make you laugh, change you, you die and get reborn..it can set you free..
John Lennon said 'Life's happening when you are busy making plans about it'..thats it,isnt it..you don't choose the way things that gets in your way..they just happen!! you can choose to be the best or the worst of it..I hope you make the best of it..'cause thats the one choice no one can ever take away from you, you can always choose to do what is right, you can forgive when all you can think of is breaking someone's head, you can love when you are supposed to hate,you can talk when you find yourself buried in grievances,you can just stay or walk away..there are no rules to this thing..
Its a strange feeling making a return on your emotions...they look the same, they feel the same..you realize that the only thing changed is you.Suddenly you see that you need to change the way the things are.Suddenly you find a reason to take the high road on life.Suddenly you see that you could do a hell lot better.Its like waking up from a dream and walking into another.A whole new world order.There is no guarantee that this change will be a better one.But there is one thing for sure, that this has to happen, 'cause you have chosen it to happen.People will talk.Well, they always talk so just screw them!!Your time is now.Choice is simple.Stairway to heaven or Highway to hell.Just choose..and i'll follow!!