In the end

Sometimes I dream about the days I used to walk 200 m towards college like a zombie cursing my life. But when I reached up to the corner, I saw her standing, waiting for me. As i walk close to her, I could begin to see a pretty smile on her face. No complaints. No regrets. No discontent. And my heart skips a beat. I never let my fantasy go beyond that.

However smart you think you are. No matter how much maturity is stuffed inside you. Life still finds a way to slap you in your face. You like to enjoy the burns of the cleansing fire so much that you start to miss the pain when the flame is gone. And you just lie wondering what went wrong? Why did I do it?

In my dream, I wanted to run to her, hug her tight, and whisper to her 'I will never let you go'. But I fear that if i take one step closer, she will fade. Or I could see someone else standing beside her. I wait for her to wave to me, call my name. But for some godforsaken reason, she doesn't.

Its a funny thing that when a person is with you can't help but criticize her for her fallacies, but when she's gone she seems to be the most precious thing in the world. Time drains all the love and empathy from inside you. And you voluntarily cut the chord of the last thing that connects you to the real world. And I stand there convincing myself that I was just there to help. That's what I do. I was never supposed to get involved. In the end I must feel lucky that I used to know you. And you were beautiful..